Mirage
by MrsEm
Summary: He saw her there, in the distance and however much he tried he could never quite reach her. Like a mirage in the desert until one day, she was real. At least he thought she was? A series of moments with a mysterious woman on board the ship make Kirk question his sanity.


_**Just a little plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. X**_

* * *

She caught his eye rarely. Rarely for the reason that he hardly ever saw her. In the corridor at the end of a shift, a week later in the turbolift. Perhaps a month later in one of his crew messages. He would sense that he was staring and turn away quickly, after purposely looking at several other faces as he spoke his gaze would creep back to her and every time he would find that she was looking at him. She looked at him in a way that made him feel like he could do anything, accomplish anything. He felt buoyed by her palpable support, when he spoke she would always nod encouragingly. And she always appeared when he needed her to, silently filling him with confidence and purpose. If they were simply passing one another she was nod courteously or make way for him by standing to one side and gesturing with her arm for him to pass without obstruction. Once when he entered a turbolift and she was already present, she had asked him which deck he desired.

"The Bridge please." He had answered, she had blushed.

"Of course." He had mentally kicked himself for sounding so obnoxious, when the lift stopped and the door slid open he had taken the opportunity to repay her good manners and indicate that she should exit first. "Oh no, thank you. I'm going to deck seven." He'd creased his brow in confusion.

"We went past deck seven?" He had queried, wondering why she hadn't stopped and got off before him.

"Yes, but I'm sure your responsibilities are far more pressing than my own Captain." She'd smiled politely at him, a large effortless smile that showed off two perfect rows of white teeth.

"Well, thank you." He hadn't known what else to say.

"Of course Captain." For a moment he'd forgot what he was doing or even where he was going. He had just stood there, until she had looked at him curiously and he finally snapped out of it.

A few months later and the Enterprise was playing host to a number of visiting dignitaries, Kirk was currently stood speaking with several of them, wondering to himself how long he could talk about the medicinal qualities of Vulcan swardroot.

"Excuse me please." Nodding his head politely in their direction he walked to one side of the room and rolled his shoulders, trying to crack the stress out of his back.

"Do you need a massage Jim?" Without looking Kirk replied to his friend.

"Not from you Bones, but I appreciate the concern." Kirk surveyed the room until his eyes came to rest on, of all people, her. She was playing the Harp, the quietly inspiring music he had been listening to for the past hour had been created by her. He watched as her delicate fingers thrummed and plucked at the strings of the instrument, her head bowed and her eyes closed, listening. The composition came to an end and Kirk watched as she stood and began to walk towards the small bar of the reception room. "I'll see you later." Kirk muttered as he was already walking away and in the woman's direction.

"I doubt it." McCoy scoffed and went in search of his next drink. As Kirk made his way through the clusters of people chatting he allowed himself the opportunity to take her in. He'd never been able to memorise her appearance before now so as he watched her stand at the bar he was overwhelmed by her beauty. Her sculpted figure was sensual in appearance, her waist tapering like an optical illusion. A pair of arched eyebrows looked down on sweeping eyelashes and sparkling nebula blue eyes. Kirk became fixated with her flowing tresses, he imagined that the cause of the lightened streaks were the two suns of Risa and ages of indulgent slumber. He'd never seen it not twisted into a tight high chignon before and a part of him felt like he was seeing something he shouldn't, something very private. When she took a sip of her drink he watched her heart shaped lips press gently against the glass and when her tongue quickly swiped at the wine which lingered there he wanted to reach out and touch them then and there. He thought about kissing those lips and pondered what they tasted of? Strawberry sweet he decided. Her gown was reserved but to his eyes it was scandalous and pulse racing.

"Would you like a drink Captain?" Her voice crashed into his thoughts like a freight train. Without realising it he was stood beside her, like when he dreamed of a far off city on the horizon that he couldn't reach. A mirage, and then he was suddenly there, on the streets.

"Yes please, thank you." He was surprised he didn't splutter over his words.

"Of course." She paused expectantly. "What would you like?" He knew she was speaking Standard but for the life of him he didn't know what she had just said.

"What are you having?" Looking at her glass of red wine she could have very easily laughed at his expense, instead she answered without sarcasm.

"Red wine Captain."

"I'll have the same." Kirk answered, mentally kicking himself to pull it together. As they both watched the Bartender pour his drink he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "You play beautifully." He said after a moment.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you to say." She continued to smile effortlessly and her graciousness spurred Kirk on to want to elicit the same reaction in her again.

"Oh not at all, how long have you been playing?"

"Since I was a child, how about you? Do you play any instruments?" She had turned towards him, her hands clasped around the stem of her glass, her focus made him feel like he was the only person in the room.

"Me? No! I always lacked the discipline to practice."

"I'm sure that's not the case, I'm sure you could do anything you put your mind to." Her unwavering belief in him was addictive. He paused open mouthed, unsure as to what to say. "Well, if you'll excuse me Captain, I must get back." She indicated with a jut of her head to the instrument left unattended in the corner of the room.

"Of course, of course… Thank you for the drink." He grinned at her and when she grinned back his heart skipped a beat. Placing her glass down she turned to walk away, as if in slow motion he watched as her hand delicately landed on his forearm and for the briefest of moments he could feel her touch travel from his arm throughout his entire body.

A bolt of electricity.

Kirk was overwhelmed at such the gentle, compassionate and kind-hearted act. The twinges that he had previously felt in his shoulders and back had completely melted away. For the rest of the event he listened to her beautiful compositions and when he went to sleep that night her face was all that he saw.

* * *

He saw her again later that month, he was in his ready room speaking with his First Officer, Commander Spock. As he sat listening to him recite the long list of reasons why they shouldn't visit the Class M planet they'd just come across his attention was diverted to a clanging sound in the corner of the room.

"Do you mind?" He watched her as she put the tambourine down, it had been a present from the Chief of a small village on Bak'ku. Laughing she placed the instrument down and gave him a large warm smile.

"I'm sorry Captain." Taking a seat on the small sofa she crossed her legs and began listening to Spock.

"He does go on." Kirk muttered absentmindedly.

"He has a point though." She replied.

"I suppose he does, I like him to think I'm going to do the opposite of whatever he's suggesting though. Is that mean?" He watched her give him a disapproving look. "I know I know but you have to get your kicks somewhere right?"

"I suppose so, how are you Sir?" Standing she came to sit on the end of his desk, twiddling a stylus between her fingers.

"I'm okay, I think?"

"You think?" He watched as she crossed her arms and looking at him concerned he felt like he could tell her his deepest darkest secrets and she would simply listen, not judge and give him the advice he needed.

"Spock's right, the risks are too great. I can't help thinking though that the possibility of securing a new energy source is worth too much to pass up." She nodded along as he spoke.

"Why don't you take the Commander's advice, keep the away team small and send a probe first. That way everybody's happy?" He thought about her suggestion for a moment.

"You always know what to say don't you?" Staring into her eyes Kirk wanted to reach out and touch her hand which was resting near his.

"You always know what to do Captain, you need to believe in yourself more." She stood and pushed herself up off the desk, he was instantly disappointed that she was leaving.

"When will I see you again?"

"Soon."

"Okay." After she'd left Kirk brought his attention back to Spock.

"Sounds good Mister Spock, let's send the probe but if it comes back clear I'm sending a small team, understood?" Spock inclined his head in agreement.

"Aye Captain."

* * *

 **Three Months Later**

"What's her name?" Bones stood, arms crossed, considering his friend in disbelief.

"I don't know." Kirk sat, one hand resting on his forehead.

"What division does she work in?" The pair had been whispering suspiciously for the past fifteen minutes.

"I don't know.

"You don't know much do you Jim?"

"Bones." Kirk abruptly stood up in frustration and looked at McCoy warningly.

"Well, damnit Jim, what colour is her uniform at least?!" McCoy's arms went wide, he was trying to be patient but he felt it ebbing away quickly.

"I… I don't know." The Doctor in McCoy finally kicked in as he seized Kirk's upper arm and began leading him off the bridge.

"Come with me."

"Where are we going?" Kirk asked confused.

"Sickbay."

"I'm not sick Bones." Kirk stopped walking.

"Then tell me Jim, how do you explain the fact that you've been seeing this woman all around the ship, having conversations with her for months yet you don't know her name…?"

"When you say like that…"

"The truth?" McCoy felt a modicum of sympathy for his friend, taking a deep breath he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Have you checked the crew databanks?"

"Of course I have! No matches came up." Kirk answered desperately. "Alright Bones, fine. Run your tests! I know she's real…" The pair started walking towards the turbolift again.

"Wait! You saw her, at the summit, she was playing the Harp. How do you explain that?!" Kirk grinned, as if he'd suddenly made a long awaited scientific breakthrough.

"Jim, Ensign Pelczar was playing the Harp." Kirk's face fell at McCoy's words and he began shaking his head.

"What? No!"

"Jim, it was Ensign Pelczar. I know because her Husband works in my sickbay and we spoke about it after." Kirk didn't have a response, nodding at his friend slowly in resignation they continued on their way.

* * *

"She has to be real Bones, I can't accept that she isn't real." Kirk sat on the medical bed as McCoy scanned him with a multitude of devices.

"I can't find any unusual readings, your levels are all normal." Kirk reached out his hand and gripped McCoy's wrist, stopping him from continuing with his scan.

"Bones, I'm not crazy." He whispered.

"No more than usual." McCoy replied with a wry grin.

"Well if it's not me then maybe it's you, all of you?" Kirk offered up.

"Why the hell would there be a woman on board the ship that only you could see?" McCoy asked, his arms crossing in front of his chest again.

"We need to do a ship wide diagnostic…"

"Jim stop!" McCoy interrupted. "Just calm down a goddamn moment! Have you scanned for an alien lifeform on board?" McCoy asked, getting swept away with Kirk's fervour.

"Of course I have Bones, what do you take me for?" Kirk stood from the bed.

"Jim… wait up…" But Kirk had already all but sprinted from the Med Bay leaving McCoy stood staring. "Crazy sonofabitch."

* * *

As Kirk walked along the corridor he found himself feeling at ease and relaxed.

"Hello Captain." He practically fell over his own feet when he saw her stood in front of him, in the middle of the corridor simply smiling at him.

"You." Walking up to her he only stopped when their feet were nearly touching. He could feel her breath on his face and could see the sprinkle of freckles on her nose.

"How's your day today Captain?" She asked pleasantly.

"Who are you?" She looked at him confused.

"I'm sorry Captain?" Creasing her brow in confusion Kirk found himself forgetting his train of thought.

"What's your name?" Shaking his head he persevered.

"I have to report for duty Captain, I'll see you soon." Her bright smile and jovial delivery threw Kirk off guard and he watched as she waved at him and began walking away. Watching her he wondered when he would see her again, like he always wondered when he would see her again. In that moment something clicked and Kirk shouted after her, she was getting away, again. He tried to think what colour her uniform was and when for the life of him he couldn't remember he set off in a sprint after her. Turning a corner he saw her blonde hair weave in and out of the crowd of crew members.

"WAIT!" Kirk shouting at the top of his voice had the desired effect, everybody stopped walking apart from her. Making his way through he reached out and touched her shoulder, as his fingers touched the fabric of her uniform a silver light filled Kirk's vision. The corridor had disappeared and been replaced by the coastline of Risa, shading his eyes from the two suns with his hands Kirk looked up and down the beach. "What the f…?"

"Hello James." Spinning on his heel Kirk jumped back when he realised she was stood right next to him.

"What the hell is going on?" He looked from her to the sand to the sea and then back up to her face again.

"This is how you imagined me isn't James, laying in the sun?" Her long hair was being whipped around by the sea breeze and he watched as she pulled it to one shoulder.

"How do you…?" Kirk's mind was reeling, "Who are you?"

"I'm going to miss you James, you're a good person. I wish you well but you don't need me anymore." She put out her hand and Kirk found himself instinctively taking hold. All of his questions all of a sudden seemed unimportant.

"Will I ever see you again?" She shook her head no. "I'm going to miss you." He spoke honestly, her smile lit up his heart.

"I'll miss you too."

"Please tell me your name?" He hung onto her hand tighter.

"Goodbye James, don't worry. You'll be just fine." And with that the white light filled his vision once more and he could no longer feel the heat of the sun on his face, or hear the wave's crash up onto the shore. Like a mirage in the desert, her face seemed too far away for him to see and as much as he tried to pick out her features he couldn't quite reach.

"Captain?" Kirk looked at the young Ensign blankly. "Sir, is everything okay?" Kirk wondered why he'd stopped in the middle of the corridor in the first place and when he couldn't remember why, answered the Ensign quickly and carried on with his day.

* * *

 _ **Thanks for reading ;-) LLAP XOXO**_


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